I had the BEST day today! Woke up at about 10:30, took a leisurely shower, meandered down to Westwood to cash my check from grandma, and caught the Big Blue Bus to Santa Monica for a big day of shopping. Made my way to Bebe (straight to the clearance racks, despite my being flush with cash) and bought a little black hooded shirt-thing, with sequins on the front--cute! And totally got me ready to do more shopping (why is it that a success in the first store I enter makes me so ready to do infinitely more shopping?)...Proceeded into Abercrombie (two shirts, at $9.90 each...a steal, especially for Abercrombie!), J. Crew (a bag, perfect for the beach, and a scarf with multiple possible uses), Old Navy (three shirts, all of which I can wear to work, and all of which I wouldn't mind wearing outside of work...once all the coffee nastiness has been dryer-sheet-ed away), Anthropologie (Rosebud Lip Salve...yummy, and sunglasses, which were about half the price I thought they'd be...always a plus), and Express (yet another shirt, but it was 75% off! How could I resist?). So, after a day full of spending (stress relief, from what little stress there is in my life right now), I hopped the bus back to Westwood and walked back up to the room.

Once back, I decided that I had to have a decent place to put all my new acquisitions, so I began to clean. And not "put away all the shit that's cluttering my desk" clean-- serious, Mom-esque cleaning. I rearranged most of the stuff under my bed, refused to throw away old magazines (that's right Andy, I'm a keeper!), and tried on this dress I bought junior year in SF and haven't worn once...maybe I can make a pillow out of it or something. The whole cleaning thing made me even happier...I'm SO turning into my mother, with the whole obsessive cleaning thing...but I guess after a day of selfish spending, it was nice to do something a little more arduous than trying on sweaters.

Is it bad that any of the things that I can envision ruining this high seem so far-fetched right now? I can't see anything reasonably falling out of the sky and knocking me unconscious, and that makes me a little worried. Never one to take anything at face value, am I? Nope, never...

 
Dad and Ryan spent the weekend (well, Friday and Saturday nights) here, and we hung out and did stuff…

Friday night was for going to see “Bowling For Columbine” at Ackerman, and I just have to say that EVERYONE should go see it, especially if they have any sort of feelings at all regarding issues like gun control and the like—and if you don’t have these feelings, it helps if you’re a…human? Whatever. It appeals to everyone, or should. I can’t honestly say that I can lend any sort of a sympathetic ear to someone who says they’re “just protecting their rights to bear arms,” just because the interpretation applied to that amendment is so antiquated and obsolete, especially when you think about things that have happened because of gun violence. When did you ever hear on the news, “Thank God that family had a huge shotgun, because the 8-year-old child was successfully able to fend off the intruders. Wow, what a great idea, having kids and guns in the same house! I’m so glad they chose to exercise their right to bear arms!” Never. That’s right, never, jackasses. There’s something in the United States that is drastically different from any other country (and I love our country just as much as anyone else), that allows all this stuff to happen, and it has to change. Whatever it is, it can’t stay the same, with six-year-old kids bringing guns to school and shooting their classmates.

Saturday began with anxiety, as I woke up at 7:25 and realized that I was supposed to have woken up at 6:30, and been at Starbucks at 7:15. “I’m so fired. This sucks, I’m going to get fired from STARBUCKS, of all places…” The guy, Daniel, who was driving the other new recruits (sorry, PARTNERS…bleah) to the anonymous office building in Culver City for the workshop called me and arranged to pick me up, so I wasn’t entirely screwed. The workshop was pretty much what I imagine it would be like to join a cult, with all the free pastries and promotional video…whatever, at least I’ll be getting a check soon. Came back, exhausted, took a shower, and went and spent a lazy afternoon with Dad and Ryan.

Had dinner with Dad, Ryan, Michelle, Candice, Andy, and Brian at BJs…it was weird to have the intersection of the “family” and “school” spheres, but I think it’s what I want to do. It’s too hard having more than one life…which sounds dramatic, but is mostly true.

This is where I apologize, and I don’t do it very often. Ryan spent the night on Saturday, and I was gone for most of the night, because I went to a crew party with Patrick (more on this after my apology). When I was out drinking and partying, he was sitting in the room with Michelle and Andy and Brian, playing bad computer games and Guillotine and enduring awkward silences, because they were pretty much babysitting him. What I should have done was either not have had him spend the night or not have gone to the party or even taken him to the party, but I didn’t do any of those things. And you know how I feel about regret. But to anyone who perceived my abandonment of my brother as, well, abandonment, I’m sorry…and I’m sorry to Ryan, too. End of apology. Let’s move on.

So I went to the crew/apartment party with Patrick, knowing that I would know just about only him and Taylor, who was showing up later with some people he knew from crew. It was really fun, although the alcohol was cheap and there were quite a few…colorful…girls in attendance. I feel a salute is in order for Patrick, who suggested dancing (bold move for a big white guy…and he had the dance solos to back it up!), and who made sure I didn’t fall down from dizzy drunkenness. Awkward moment of the night: Dave, supposedly drunker than he apparently was, insinuating himself into our cozy conversation. “Good luck, man.” Good luck with what? That’s gross, and I don’t care how drunk you are, that’s just inappropriate. And as for the drunken belligerence that could have ensued…disgusting. Don’t use drinking as an excuse for that kind of behavior, don’t do anything drunk that you wouldn’t do sober, or anything you’ll regret when you come around.

Aside from the gross encounter with Dave, the night was a rousing success. Lesson learned: don’t mix rum and cranberry. If it smells bad, it’ll taste worse. Stick to vodka and cranberry. Overall, a good night—I’m glad I feel so comfortable with Patrick, and that there’s nothing (yet…haha) that drives me insane about him. A good sign, if ever there was one.

 
consider my stomach FLIPPED

 
Ok, so since the dumb old Media Lab didn't have Le trou, I'm filling the time allotted on my schedule (written in Astro, ask me if you care...) with randomness. Well, guided randomness, maybe. I wrote a crappy poem while evading my WS reading in the sculpture garden today, so proceed at your own risk (note: it's rough, off the top of my head, and probably quite terrible. Be that as it may...):
Poem for a Sunny Day
"...the luckiest girl in the world."
"Luck has nothing to do with it."
Hesitate to leave it to the Divine
But on such a day
It's either that or Science
And I'm not much for reason.

 
My pillow smells like boy!
Goodnight...

 
Aww, fun weekend with all the women in my immediate-ish family...Mom, Heather, and Grandma (Corey, bad sport that he is, was holed up sick in his room all weekend...boo). Nothing terribly notable as far as activities went, but we DID go to see the musical that Taylor was in, "The Wild Party." I'm fairly sure Taylor doesn't read this, so if I gush, he won't get all big-headed and unbearable-- it was really, truly, amazing. There's something in me that wishes I had the balls and the talent to be a part of something so amazing, and a huge part of me is amazed that I know people that are capable of such beauty. I guess that's part of the whole "being a human" thing, creating and appreciating beauty, but I'm in such a good mood that I'm noticing it a lot more than usual.

And why not be in a good mood? I spent a bunch of time with Mom, who regards me as a sort of sourpuss, unwilling to have any sort of fun or get any enjoyment from life-- not so! I may not have enjoyed taking the obligatory picture in front of the Bruin in Ackerman Plaza, but I guess I should be glad that it was a holiday, that there weren't a million people standing around to mock my family's silliness. There are things about me that don't come through as much as I'd like them to, but I think sometimes that keeps me safe, safer than I'd be if I walked around so...exposed, all the time. (Can you IMAGINE what it'd be like if I were a little more "affected" by everything? Unbearable!) I guess commenting on my perceptions and understandings would be a little redundant, so I'll leave it at that. I'm smarter than I look, and definitely smarter than I act. :)

P.S. I love backhanded references just as much as the next girl, but that's a little tacky. Don't do it for MY benefit...

 
A turn for the better...

Last night (after my second, BORING, day of work at Starbucks), went out with Patrick to Acapulco and "The Recruit." It was really fun-- no awkward pauses, no "huh, what are we gonna do NOW?"s...and how cute is it that he showed up with flowers? Yay. Came back to the room and watched late SNL and "Clerks" (haha, who said romance was dead? I watched two totally non-Valentiney movies last night :) ), pertty much hung around until 4:30 (shades of orientation, with the late-night hanging out and all...). Wanna do it again sometime? Hmm, me too. (don't want to gush into something that I know various others read...I have tact, sometimes!).

Spending the weekend at Corey and Heather's...again...with them and Mom and Grandma. Looking forward to seeing everyone and being all familial, but a little apprehensive about the dynamic in that small, two-bedroom apartment. Should be nice to hang out with them, and hopefully have Mom be all "Let's go shopping!"-y...and I KNOW we'll have some sort of good dinner out tonight.

Life is good.

 
In the spirit of Valentine's Day, I'll post dirty lyrics...you know, 'cause romance isn't totally dead.
Stroke 9's "Do It Again"...
You’re instantly awake in my imagination
Old-fashioned infatuation
I can be anything that you want me to be
And you can have me in every position that you dreamed

I know you’ve got a wild streak
You’re a freak
You’re alone
In your bed
With graphic images in your head

Let me do what I want to do with you
Let me tie you down, pick you up
And flip you all around
Let me tell you how sexy you are
As I’m goin’ down on you in the car
If feelin’ this good is a sin
Let’s do it all over again
Do it all over again
Do it

Just when I thought this might get boring
Wake me up in the morning by pouring
Honey on my body and licking it off
You’re taking me to concerts
And you’re taking off your top

I know you’ve got a wild streak
You’re a freak
Then you’re back in our room
With a bride and a groom

Let me do what I want to do with you
Let me tie you down, pick you up
And flip you all around
Let me tell you how sexy you are
As I’m goin’ down on you in the car
If feelin’ this good is a sin
Let’s do it all over again
Do it all over again
Do it

Well, this is it
This is great
This is what I always wanted
Where do we go from here?
That’s the question of the year
I think you’re fine
I think you’re hot
This is what I always dreamed of
The one thing I forgot
Was to get to know you

You’re instantly awake in my imagination
Old-fashioned infatuation
I can be anything that you want me to be
And you can have me in every position that you dreamed

I know you’ve got a wild streak
You’re a freak
You’re alone
In your bed
With graphic images in your head

Let me do what I want to do with you
Let me tie you down, pick you up
And flip you all around
Let me tell you how sexy you are
As I’m goin’ down on you in the car
If feelin’ this good is a sin
Let’s do it all over again

 
Hmm...it's raining like a bastard. Went to the Fiat Lux, walked over to Hilgard, got on a Big (steamy!) Blue Bus down to Westwood, with the intention of going to the Gap. Gap closed, I ventured on to Ann Taylor, only to blow almost $40 at Victoria's Secret on 5 new pairs of underwaer and cute, light blue boy shorts with a poodle and "Ooh la la!" on them. Haha, I do believe I tricked the salesgirls into believing I had some semblance of an audience for all this undergarmentage. Poor little me...

Went with Michael to get his hair cut and highlighted (at Ali, of course), and went with Ali to get a Valentine's card for his girlfriend at Aaahs! It was funny b/c he'd forgotten his glasses and I had to read all these lovey-dovey cards to him, a fifty year old man, in the middle of Aaahs!...haha, a little bit Tuesdays With Morrie and a little bit Lolita, I'm sure.

Guess what, everyone? Megan has a quasi-date (real date, who knows?) for Valentine's Day! And nope, it's not with the Masked Valentine who left the rose on my door on Monday (identity as yet undiscovered)...it's Patrick. Good times will be had by all. Well, most, hopefully...

Ooh...first day of work at Starbucks tomorrow! Nervous? Yeah, a bit...but why bother? All these other idiots can make coffee, and I'm not just any idiot! Haha...must update as to status of idiocy, if change becomes apparent when I scald myself with molten espresso. Wish me luck!

 
Could today be a "carpe diem" day? We'll see...
"The celestial atmosphere encourages you, as far as love and romance are concerned, to actively pursue someone altogether eligible. This isn't your normal style, as you are usually far too proud to make it known that you have feelings. But something in the air is encouraging you to give a nod and a wink instead of a cold stare. Go on - make someone's day."
If the horoscope says it, it must be true !

 
[ x ]Spell your first name backwards – Nagem (quite unattractive, no?)
[ x ] Are you a lesbian – not yet…but if this whole “guy” thing doesn’t work out, who knows? Nope, I’m destined to die alone in a cat-filled apartment, without any sort of male OR female romatic companion (damn the proximity of Valentine’s Day!)
[ x ] Where do you live – right now, scary LA. Well, Westwood doesn’t count as part of scary LA, ‘cause it’s in this nice little bubble…
[ x ] 4 words that sum you up – demanding, smart, cynical, witty (those last three are from Sean, so blame him for any inaccuracies)

DESCRIBE YOUR
[ x ] Wallet – it’s actually REALLY big (unnecessarily so)…it’s red “leather” with these three bead- and sequin-embellished ladies on the front.
[ x ] Hairbrush – I got it free with my blowdryer, and rarely use it.
[ x ] Toothbrush - white and gray something-or-other that I got from the dentist
[ x ] Jewelry worn daily – ha! I’m lucky if I remember to put on pants. A watch, if I’m feeling responsible, and earrings, if I’m feeling ambitious (not: neither of these things happen very frequently)
[ x ] Pillow cover – one red and one orchid-y pink (I have a “2 or more pillow” sleeping rule…it’s just the way I am)
[ x ] Blanket – comforter covered with this red flannel thing…soft and warm! …just the way I likes it.
[ x ] Coffee cup – one from NASA, one from British Airways, and one that I got when I graduated high school that has all the names of the kids who graduated with me (aww, how nice. They even spelled my last name right!)
[ x ] Sunglasses – I’ve had them since before my senior year. They’re a part of me—cheap, and from Pacific Sunwear…made in China or something like that
[ x ] Underwear- right now? Zebra, ‘cause I’m an ANIMAL! Haha…gross.
[ x ] Shoes – I have…sixteen…pairs of shoes here, including flipflops. And it’s COLLEGE! Who needs this many shoes? Well…me, I guess.
[ x ] Handbag – I have a slight problem with these, too. The one I’ve been using for the last…24 hours, is a blue Esprit messenger bag that I’ve had since about 7th grade. I have ten others in a box under my bed.
[ x ] Favorite top – probably the green one from American Eagle (“They say geniuses choose green…”) or the pink stripey one from A&F, which is cute, but cost WAY too much
[ x ] Cologne/Perfume – right now? Gin and Tonic by Demeter. In my overflowing medicine cabinet? Glamourous by Ralph Lauren, Dream by Gap, Clinique Happy, Sand and Sable, Lucky You, and Gap Blue
[ x ] CD in stereo right now – Norah Jones, but I usually have some silly Kazaa thing going on
[ x ] Tattoos – OW! And…well, that’s pretty much it. Owwwww!
[ x ] Piercings – 2 in each ear, and I hardly EVER wear earrings…
[ x ] What you are wearing now – haha…how tempting is it to say something like, “Lotion”? No…jeans, long-sleeved light blue shirt with rhinestones around the v-neck, the aforementioned zebra panties, socks, Vans, and a purple camouflage bra (haha, betcha can’t even see it!)
[ x ] Hair – in my current style rut…half-up in a barrette. Cut above the shoulders, about at the chin.
[ x ] Makeup – mostly BeneFit…and some Blistex
[ x ] In my mouth – umm…residual coffee taste. I spent the morning at Starbucks, filling in paperwork, and got a FREE hazelnut latte. Mmm…
[ x ] In my head – big sense of foreboding over impending Valentine’s Day, and the song “I Know What Boys Like” (does that count as irony or something?”
[ x ] Wishing - …and hopin’, and prayin’, and dreamin’…haha, I couldn’t resist. I don’t know, maybe that I had some stupid boy to share Valentine’s Day with? But I don’t think that’s what I NEED right now. Let’s not get into this. Wish in one hand and…nevermind. Don’t wish. What good is that? Wanting is totally unproductive.
[ x ] After this – probably more Literati, Collapse, and IMing…lunch with Andy, watching a French movie in the dumb old Media Lab…
[ x ] Talking to – Sean, Vu-Ha, Andy, Brian, Michelle, Candice…who knows? Pay attention to me!
[ x ] Eating – whatever crap they’re serving in the De Neve dining hall, I guess…nothing of any nutritional substance, but what’s new. “Involuntary anorexia,” as Andy calls it.

[ x ] Fetishes – lip products (balms, glosses, lipsticks…), TV…can people count as fetishes?
[ x ] If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason – I don’t know if I should answer this…could you ever REALLY get away with murder? I mean, completely? Wouldn’t that require some sort of escape from self, as well as others?
[ x ] Person you wish you could see right now – any one of my goofy boy friends who could make me feel better…Sean, Tom, Ben, Vu-Ha…
[ x ] Is next to you – my fakey glasses, tube of Blistex, ghetto “vase” of cute pink Gerber daisies, assorted desk crap…the contents of my life
[ x ] Some of your favorite movies – “Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion,” “Great Expecations,” “Minority Repot,” “The Wedding Planner,” goofy, terrible movies including various Adam Sandler gems and such
[ x ] Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month – NOT Valentine’s Day (hmm, did I already mention that? Too bad!)…impending visits from Mom and Grandma, paycheck from Starbucks…unexpectedly meeting a gorgeous and mostly-normal guy (pleasepleaseplease?)
[ x ] The last thing you ate – umm…something at dinner last night. All I’ve had today was that latte…
[ x ] Something that you are deathly afraid of – failure. That, or maybe dying alone and unloved.
[ x ] Do you like candles – eh…sure. Why not?
[ x ] Do you like hot wax – if it doesn’t involve the painful ripping out of hair, sure…
[ x ] Do you like incense – makes any room smell like a head shop. Not a fan.
[ x ] Do you like the taste of blood – uhhh…no.
[ x ] Do you believe in love – of course. What’s to live for if you don’t believe in love?
[ x ] Do you believe in soul mates – I think I believe in several soul mates…what if your “one and only” gets hit by a bus or something? You’re lucky to find any of them in your lifetime, though. Oh, and soul mates don’t have to be romantic relationships, either. And never include the phrase “soul mate” in wedding vows, if you write your own. It’ll make people retch.
[ x ] Do you believe in love at first sight – how can you love someone you don’t know? You can have lust and attraction at first sight, which are important parts of love, but you can’t have the whole package at first glance.
[ x ] Do you believe in forgiveness – depends on the crime and the perpetrator…
[ x ] What do you want done with your body when you die – cremated, but not kept on the mantel in anyone’s house…scattered somewhere, maybe?
[ x ] Who is your worst enemy - I like to think that all my enemies are the worst. It’s so hard to choose my favorite…
[ x ] If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be – brown miniature Dachsund, Frances!
[ x ] What is the latest you've ever stayed up – I’ve been up for about 37 hours…that’s my record.
[ x ] Ever been to Belgium – accidentally, when I was on a train to London…this has much to do with the 37-hour sleep-deprivation episode
[ x ] Can you eat with chopsticks – yep. Thanks to the careful training of my mother…
[ x ] What's your favorite coin – quarters. So versatile! Laundry, gambling, drinking…large parts of any college student’s existence.
[ x ] What are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to – easy! London, San Francisco, NYC (even though I’ve never been there…oh well), Paris (if only I REALLY knew French!), Beverly Hills (close, geographically, but light years away as far as income is concerned…), and…Sydney (so what if Australia’s a former penal colony? I’ve heard nice things about it, and you don’t have to tip there!)
[ x ] What are some of your favorite pig out foods – cereal, chips and guacamole, entire pints of Ben and Jerry’s
[ x ] What's something that you wish people would understand – besides ME? Hmm…well, I AM the most important thing, and I can’t think of anything else. But then again, I don’t know that anyone can ever REALLY understand anyone else, entirely.
[ x ] What's something you wish you could understand better – the motivations of others
[ x ] Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time – friends from home…Natasha, Leah, Sean, Ben, Dan, Tom
[ x ] What's one thing you want to make happen for tomorrow – actually get some reading done for WS 10 (not going to happen, but it’s nice to dream)…get a decent amount of sleep (again, not going to happen…but I might get some dreaming done THEN)

 
Why horoscopes (or at least astrologers) are the dumbest thing ever:

"Are you into abstract art forms, dear Sagittarius? Today you could find yourself irresistibly drawn to them, whether we're talking about blank verse, abstract painting, or New Age music. If you're into the arts yourself, you might want to try your hand at whatever discipline appeals to you the most. If you aren't, attend a concert, stroll through an art gallery, go to a poetry reading. Whatever you do, enjoy your day!"

1) Blank verse is actually structured, idiot! Look at Shakespeare...he wasn't exactly e.e. cummings.

2) Can't you consider yourself somewhat "into the arts" if you attend a concert, stroll through an art gallery, or go to a poetry reading? I mean, if you REALLY aren't into the arts, shouldn't you go smoke some crack, go to a monster truck rally, or try to pull and extra shift at the Wal-Mart?

Sorry, that really had nothing to do with anything. But it's early and I'm easily perturbed.

 
I'm in the market for a Valentine...any takers?

 
First of all, something from my horoscope (I don't put too much stock into it, but for what it's worth...):
"You may find yourself staring at a blank page for what seems like hours on end while you try to get down on paper what you really want to say, dear Sagittarius."

...which is odd, considering the day I've had. Went to Borders with Andy, Brian, and Gemma, and proceeded to peruse fiction, travel, and architecture (if only I didn't hate math and physics so much...), and listened to a new Diana Krall CD. Borders, while therapeutic because it is, after all, a sort of mecca for my bibliophilic self, also reinforced the fact that I really have no idea what I want to do with my life. These people that wrote these books, even the crappy romances and self-help books that help only the gurus on their way to the bank, had goals-- maybe not goals per se, but they accomplished something more than sitting around and watching "The Real World" over and over. Everyone who reads this and knows what they want to do in life, I salute you. You're great. Gemma, with your medical aspirations, Brian, with your theatrics, Michelle, with your political fervor-- you amaze me. You KNOW why you're here in college, and you have some sort of future plan. Me? Sure, I'm going to get a bachelor's in English. That's what I'll do, but I know I don't have the balls to be a writer. I just don't, and that's it. So what am I going to do? I'll be the most overqualified secretary in the office, I guess. Briefly discussed this uncertainty with Andy, who suggested that the past, not the future, is the reason that we're here in college. Is it? The past is what got us here-- the test scores, the extracurriculars, the amazing application essay. But now we're here, and all that motivates us, ultimately, is the future. We study, we labor over hot computers, we agonize over test scores because, someday, they'll be worth more than some text on URSA that says "3.62" or whatever, right?

Had a long walk with Candice, mostly because I'm in this mood that manages to cover restlessness, anxiety, exhaustion, and desire to vent all that to someone else. Vented, talked over stuff that's been bugging me (sporadic anxiety about the actions of others who may or may not know that they're the sources of such...stress), stuff that's happened, stuff that should have happened, and the stupid stuff I did that made it impossible for the occurrence of the stuff that we so desperately WANT to happen (did that make any sense? read it again!). And now I'm sitting here, feet freezing from walking out in the night wind, legs still chilled from sitting on the fountain for so long, but satisfied that the feeling that was so strong earlier tonight has somewhat subsided. For now.

New resolutions? Maybe...just some "target areas" (haha, like in a diet. This will be a diet, for my lifestyle rather than my body.)
Be satisfied with what I have. This includes friends, body, possessions. Everything. Stop WANTING so much to have something else. What I have isn't all that bad, it really isn't.
Don't be so surprised that eveyone isn't my biggest fan. After all, I have my own extensive list of people whose fanclub newsletters I don't wish to receive anymore.
Calm down. Not to the point of numbness, but...desensitize? Scratch that. "I'm sensitive, and I'd like to stay that way."
Stay what I am. It's not as bad as I think it is--most of the time, anyway.
Learn to be articulate about stuff that's bothering me. Stop leaving rooms just because I'm afraid that if I stay there, I'll get too frustrated to have any sort of discussion and that I'll just start to cry.
Allow myself to cry, and just pray that I don't get anymore tears up my nose.
Think about the stuff I post in an online journal that anyone could read, just because I'm too lazy to write it down and too much of a wimp to talk to people about what's going on in my life.

And this was the end of the horoscope (fits, right?)...
"However, once you start the act of writing, or whatever task you need to complete, things seem to flow to completion on their own."

 
All the other kids were doing it, so I had to join in...
Megan, your unconscious mind is driven most by Imagination

This means you have a deep desire to use innovative ideas to enhance your life and influence the world around you. This drive influences you far more than you may realize on a conscious level.

Your need to be innovative drives how you look at new opportunities and the kinds of experiences in life you choose to have. On an unconscious level, the reason you may be so driven by imagination is your fear of destruction, the opposite of creation. When you are unable to create due to restrictions imposed by your environment or even ones you unwittingly impose on yourself, do you feel trapped or confined? You may find these feelings of unease only get better when you find another outlet for your imagination.

With such a strong creative orientation, you are willing to entertain a broad spectrum of ideas at any given time. The world is a fuller, richer place because you can contribute new ideas to any experience. Your natural curiosity inspires those around you and encourages them to come up with ideas they wouldn't have thought of without your help.

Also, a quick realization: can something be considered a realization if you've known it for awhile?