I should be better at this, more articulate. I've done it enough times to be slightly better than proficient, but I still manage to mess it up. Of course I cared...I care. If I didn't, do you think there even would have been any discussion about it? If I had just decided that I wanted you out of my life entirely, forever and ever amen, do you think I would have even bothered to say more than, "It's over. That's it. Nice knowing you, have a great life"? If I had waited to do it, would that not have been even more unfair? To lead you on, maybe even until after Valentine's Day, during which I would feel incredible guilt for not feeling as strongly as you did, would be...mean. I may be many things, some of which are positively wretched at times, but I am rarely mean.

This is how I am, this is what I do...and I'm sorry. Construct whatever explanations you need to in order to get through this, because I know that I'll be of no help whatsoever. You're not going to break, you're not going to shatter, because you're much stronger than I am, and certainly much stronger than you think you are. You're not the latest in a string of guys, not just another one that I decided to try on and see if it fit, discarding when I decided that you made my thighs look too big. I'm sorry I couldn't handle it, that you were to much for me at the time, and that I just got overwhelmed.

Michelle's wish about "Cry" didn't come true, because it's not easy for either party in this situation. It's pain, just a different kind. You might thrive on stress, but dwelling can only be destructive for you. I'm not telling you to forget anything (what good would that be?), and, as much of a cliche as it is...it wasn't you. It probably wasn't me, either. It's just the two of us, together. Too much of some things, not enough of others...and I'm bad at math. I'll try to be coherent next time I decide to chronicle something here...I'm just tired right now.