"Lucky you," says the tiny pink bottle that houses my probably-too-expensive perfume. "Lucky me?" I think aloud, because I'm insane. "Look at my life, man..."

Yersterday was official Self-Pity Day (for me, anyway), in which I managed to go to both of my lectures (yeah, even psychobio...weird. We learned a lot about gonads and rat sex...), have a semi-alone lunch, go into Westwood to the farmer's market and Ralph's alllll alone, and hike back to Birch, just so I could sit on my bed, wearing pajamas, and read the new "Marie Claire" that I picked up while laundry was going on. I bought myself flowers...how sad is that? It could be taken as a testament to my self-sufficiency, but that would just be a big old lie. I can't take care of myself, nor do I really know if I want to...if I end up being idependent, will I end up allllll alone? Forever and ever and ever? What a retarded fear...very few people have the "luxury" of being left completely alone. I almost cried at the door when I finally got back from all my roundabout Westwood walking...which is jsut ridiculous. It was warm, I'd had enough walking, and in order to swipe my card to get in, I had to put down all the stuff I was carrying. By the time I picked it all back up, the doors had re-locked. I nearly lost it..."Can't ANYTHING go right in my life?" What a drama queen. Well, it's a good job that I kept it together, because this guy Matt, who lives about 2 doors down from me, came up behind just as I was unlocking for the second time. I DO have some issues about beign emotional in front of people, especially people I really don't know.

So here I am, on the day after Self-Pity Day, my system hopefully purged of most of its self-pity (as Andy said, "You better be insanely, ridiculously happy!" Oh, I will be, as long as we get to go see "Lilo and Stitch" tonight! Yay, $2 movies!), and staring at my flowers. What guy will ever give me flowers, the kind with which I can be happy (yeah, I'm picky...), and not be rrrrrrreallllllyyyyy overbearing? Just...flowers, and attention, and affection. That's all I want. Is that so much to ask? No. Ugly, useless people get flowers all the time. Why not me? I am neither ugly nor useless...

If my life was a better movie than its turned out to be, this would be the time that the romantic hero would come and say something witty. Because that's what my romantic hero would do. Funny, how despite my seemingly crusty (that seems too graphic word...how about...weathered? Sarcastic? Cynical?) my exterior is, I took that online "Who are you in love?" test and it said that I was a Romantic Idealist. "I see it," writes Andy in an IM. "Where?" I wonder.

ANDY QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "That's not a puppy. That's a tiny, tiny bear" "If you can fit the head of an animal into your mouth, then the animal is too small to own." Both of these things were said while looking at cute little puppies in Santa Monica. Don't be such a parade-rainer, Andy!